Where Are You Christmas?

"Where Are You Christmas"

Where are you Christmas

Why can't I find you

Why have you gone away

Where is the laughter

You used to bring me

Why can't I hear music play

My world is changing

I'm rearranging

Does that mean Christmas changes too

Where are you Christmas

Do you remember

The one you used to know

I'm not the same one

See what the time's done

Is that why you have let me go

Christmas is here

Everywhere, oh

Christmas is here

If you care, oh

If there is love in your heart and your mind

You will feel like Christmas all the time

I feel you Christmas

I know I've found you

You never fade away

The joy of Christmas

Stays here inside us

Fills each and every heart with love

Where are you Christmas

Fill your heart with love

This is the first year I have not been in the mood for Christmas. I didn't even put up my tree. The only decorations I have up are the Christmas cards I have been given. I just don't feel like it. Steve is gone, Grandma is gone and now it feels like Shellie is gone too.

I don't even know what is going on between her and my dad anymore. All I know is that they won't talk to one another and our holidays have not been the same this year.

Shellie took it upon herself to have Halloween at her house instead of coming to mom and dad's as we do EVERY year. Instead she had it at her house and invited other people to her house. I was not even invited.

She then took it upon herself to have Thanksgiving without us too. Instead, she had 27 people at her house and again, I was not even invited. I would not have gone anyhow as my loyalty is to my parents, but this is sure screwing up our family and what it used to be.

I am sure Christmas will be the same. Dad has already said plan on it being like Thanksgiving. Not that just the four of us isn't nice, but what I would really like is for us to all be a family again and stop this foolishness of whatever it is going on. One or both of them need to grow up and fix this. If not for themselves, for the rest of us that it is hurting.

Christmas should not feel like just another day in our lives. It is supposed to be special and bring us all closer together. Why can't that happen with our family? Why won't either of them try? Is our family not worth it? Do they like being this way to everyone?

I have had my own problems with Shellie. Every time we talk we seem to argue about something. Rarely, can we ever have a civilized conversation without a fight spinning. I have wished for years for this to change, but it hasn't, it just keeps getting worse.

Sometimes, I feel so alone. My family seems to be falling apart and I have no friends. Most days I just want to curl up and sleep it away. I can't even seem to get in the mood to bake the goodies I want to for my neighbors. I really need to get that done. Only 10 more days until Christmas. Who cares. I have felt this way in the past, but this year is the worst I have felt ever. I hate seeing our family torn apart over something so stupid, whatever it is. Like I said, I don't even know anymore. I just know that it can't be that bad that you have to make the family miserable and torn apart. Life is too short. Santa, if you are listening, All I really want for Christmas is for Shellie and Dad to make up and be the way we used to be.

On a side note - Happy Anniversary to Mom and Dad today! Celebrating 48 years!

Holy Family Bazaar

This was my space. Two full booths. I had such a variety, which people seemed to like. I won't say how much I made, but it was the best year yet!

The items that seemed to fly out the door were the stocking stuffer type items such as the chill pills, beach front property, grinch poop and magnets. In my food items, the huckleberry bark and peppermint fudge went best. I ran a special on my cards and they were flying out too. With as much as I sold, you would never know it as I made so much! Items are still available for purchase, so please inquire if you are interested. I have pictures on my facebook account; http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2085936&id=1002133797&l=1d43198304 if you would like to see what is available.

Thanks to all who came and supported me and to those who supported me from a distance! I really appreciate it!

Working on stuff for the bizarre!

Here are just a few of the things I have been working on for the bizarre next month. I still have so much more to do! I hope I do well! Enjoy!

check this out!

http://scrapwithstacy.blogspot.com/2010/09/new-tim-holtz-blog-candy-giveaway.html

you have until October 31st! Good luck!

Time Flies - Doesn't It?

I realize I haven't been on in awhile to blog. I have been so busy it is ridiculous! I have been trying to get ready for my bi-yearly four day crop coming up in October! I am so excited! I love spending four days doing nothing but scrapbooking! I get so much done when I go. This fall retreat is October 7-10th. So I am trying to get organized and ready for that.

Last Tuesday, I had shoulder surgery. I only had to wait 9 months to get it done! I was so thankful I was able to spend the night. The first day did not go so well. I was so sick. I couldn't eat anything and yet everything kept coming up. I was so weak I couldn't even go to the restroom, I had to have porta-potty next to my bed. They finally figured out it was due to the pain medicine they were giving me and took me off of it and gave me pills instead. Miracle! I was 100% better! I was having trouble breathing some, but ignored it. Went home that night and called my mom at 11pm. Deep down I was scared because I wasn't breathing right. I finally told her I wasn't sure why I had called her and it was probably nothing. The next morning I awoke and couldn't breath still. I called her again and said I needed to go the hospital. I wanted to make sure I wasn't crazy. We arrived at 9am and left at 8pm.

I wasn't crazy! Woohoo! After numerous tests that were done, they finally came to the conclusion that my diaphragm was paralyzed. So I wasn't getting in air intake on my left side of my chest, giving me the shortness of breath. They were going to have me stay the night and observe me, and they called in the lung specialist. Thank goodness he new what was wrong! He had called my anesthesiologist and asked him about the pain pump in me. Ends up, the connector was paralyzing my diaphragm and once it was taken out, I would breath normally again. The doctor said I could go home and wanted the pain pump to stay in overnight and I could take it out the next day. Once it came out...........walah! I could breath! I was so happy! Shortness of breath is not a fun thing to experience!

Tomorrow will be one week since my surgery and I am doing very well. Yesterday my parents left for Vegas for one week and brought Benji over. So far so good!

Now I am just stressing about all I have to get done for the retreat and oh did I mention the bizarre! Yes! I am doing the Holy Family bizarre this year! So far I have made a few gift items. I made some soups in a jar. I have to make all of my fudges, barks, popcorns and peach vanilla sauce still. Plus my cards I want to get done. The bizarre is November 20th. I feel like time is just flying by me and I am not getting anything done, yet I am. I have so many ideas of things I want to do for the bizarre, I just don't know if I will be able to do them all.

I am taking pre-orders on my baked goods if anyone is interested!

Well, off to start getting organized again! You can only do so much with one arm! lol

Last night of Citifest

So tonight, as we came in, there were some BMX racers doing tricks. They were amazing! I captured some photos of them. I don't know how they do it...but they were very good.

Went to Citifest again tonight. Crystal Lewis was the first one on. She only sang three songs though, so I was disappointed in that. I loved the last song she sang, "Jesus is coming". That has always been one of my favorites of hers along with the "Lion and the Lamb".

Next up was Hawk Nelson. It was a very lively performer. Kinda fun to watch.

last up was Third Day. They were also very good. I had to stand in the section in front of mom and dad because I had broken my chair and you were not allowed to stand there, only in designated areas. I really did enjoy myself.

Went to Citifest Tonight

Citifest has been being advertised for months now. I went to the website and signed up to volunteer both Saturday and Sunday. I never received a confirmation, so, being worried, I logged back in Friday night to see what was going on. It had me re-register and told me that all of the volunteer positions had been filled and I was not on the schedule. So, I emailed them and called them and never got a response back.

I really wanted to go tonight, but not alone. Angie had said she would try to meet up with me, that never happened. I had called Shellie around 1 pm and asked her to go. She said she would, but backed out at 5 pm because she was in a lot of pain. I then called my neighbor Josie to go. She said she was at the movies and she would call me when she got out at 5:15 pm. So I wait. She calls me and says Albert is on his way to pick them up. I asked her numerous times if she REALLY wanted to go. If she didn't or if she was just being nice, I would go without her because I didn't want to be late. But she said she wanted to go. So now it is 5:45pm I am already 45 minutes past the time I wanted to go. She calls me back and says she has to go grocery shopping. I can't believe her! She is so inconsiderate! Why do I even bother trying to be nice to her anymore? This is the third time she has screwed me over. So, pissed, I leave to go to the festival on my own.

I walked around for a bit and finally found a spot in a corner where I was out of the way and I listened to the music all night. The sons speech was very interesting. I was a bit peeved though because people kept standing in front of me. That wasn't so bad, but there kids kept running around in circles around me and screaming so
i couldn't hear anything. Why are parents so oblivious to these things? They certainly do not care about anyone but themselves obviously. So there I sit, alone, not being able to hear the guy, nothing to look at but the stupid kids running circles in front of me. Finally they left and I was able to enjoy the rest of the music.

I didn't know who any of the groups were. Everyone sure went crazy when Kutless came out though. I had never heard of them. But as soon as I heard them play some songs, I new I had heard them on the radio plenty of times.

All in all, it was a good night, just very lonely. But I figured I had to be independent to do this. I really wanted to go and I couldn't let the fact that no one was able or wanted to go with me stop me.

Just a little update on me

So, since I last wrote, I have found out that I also have;

• PAD (peripheral atrial disease)
• Fatty Lung Disease

I am being sent to three new specialist. A gastroenterology, pulmonary, and urologist. I am going to be tested for lung disease, aneurysm and Chron's disease. It just keeps getting better!

On a bright side, I called my insurance and they will pay for a lap-band surgery. All I have to do is pass the paperwork! I am praying I do. Although I am so excited if I can have it done, I am extremely scared at the same time.

I suppose that is it for right now. I have my aneurysm test on Tuesday. Then I can meet with the doctor and see if I passed my cardiac clearance so I can have my shoulder surgery.

I will update again later! I have been working on some wedding cards, might post those a little later.

4th of July, 2010

Dad and mom decided that they wanted to do something different this 4th of July, so they invited me to go with them to Seattle to watch the grand fireworks show.

We left Saturday morning and wend shopping at Northbend Mall. We found some clothes for dad and a t-shirt for me. Then we went to check in at the hotel. For dinner we went to the Cheesecake Factory. It was so good!

The next morning we got up and went to breakfast at this quaint little restaurant we had never been to before. My breakfast was very good. While we were there, I saw Mike Andring walk in! We chatted for a few minutes. I wish I could have hung out with him longer. I really like him. I met him when he worked at the Double Tree Hotel and we had a gift shop there.

After breakfast we drove around four two hours trying to find a good spot to see the fireworks. We went to gas works park and the line up had already begun. Miles of cars and people hanging out in chairs and tents waiting in line to get in. We didn't want to do that, so we kept looking.

We came across a great spot up on Queen Annes hill.

This is the view we had for watching the fireworks!

This is what people did to reserve their spots for watching the fireworks. One lady pulled her vehicle up, jumped out and opened up her trunk, put out three chairs, tied them together and left. Then she came back with garden trimmers and trimmed all of the brush in front of where she was going to sit and left again. Dad and I just laughed.

This is the view of Gas Works Park. Look at all the people there!

After we found our "spot", we left to go shopping. We went back to the hotel afterwards and left again at 5pm to go get some food and head back over to our spot to make sure it was reserved. Since we didn't have any chairs, we had to park the car there for five hours. Five hours without a restroom! About 8pm, people started coming around, so we had to get out of the car and stand for the last two hours to make sure we had our spots. It was the longest 5 hours, let me tell you!

Here are some of the pictures I got of the fireworks.

In Loveing Memory Of My Brother

Karissa, Steve and Shellie
On July 3rd, 2008, my brother at the age of 43 passed away and left behind 5 wondeful children, two sisters and his parents. I will never forget the phone call that I received from my mother while I was working. I will never forget that day, period.



As I sat in the hospital tonight, for a recurring uti and pylonephritis, I couldn't help but think about that day again. I was only a few rooms away from where he was. What else was I to do while I was sitting there alone. I read my book of course, but there was still spare time to think.



My brother was a great brother. As he got older, he became more of a friend to me. He was not a part of the family for a long time. But as time went on, he changed and really tired hard to be as part of it. I was so proud of him.



Last year we didn't do anything. I think we were all too sad. On top of that though, mom and dad were moving out of their house and into a new one on July 3rd last year. There wasn't much time to do anything.



This year we are going to Seattle to watch the fireworks. I am looking forward to it.



I know my brother knows how much we all miss him. I believe that he watches over all of us each and every day. I may not visit his graveside often, but I do think of him often. He is always on my mind among the other family members that have passed on as well.



A Happy Birthday to America and a I MISS YOU to my brother. I hope everyone has a safe and happy weekend. Please be sure to drive safely if you are traveling and remember to say I love you to those you do love, as you never know when they will leave this earth to our heavinly father.

My Beloved Miz. Prickle

To my beloved Miz. Prickle

She passed away June 29th at 3:30 am

She was 8 years old

Although she never wanted to be held, until the end, she was a joy to have. She started off being a mascot for my mothers store. The kids loved coming in to see her. When we closed the store, she came home with me to live out the rest of her life. She was so fun to watch in her cage. Her cute little face poking out every once in awhile. To get a glimpse was a treat.

She will be truely missed.

Fishing with the kids

Yesterday Dad and I went fishing with Brittney and Codey. We had a lot of fun. On the way up to Ellensburg dad did a little trivia with the kids. He was teaching them names of mountains, elevations and about the firing center. He also gave them some history of our family.

We went to three different ponds/lakes yesterday. We were not having any luck at any of them. Until we got to the last one. We were fishing off of the dock. We could see some smaller fish just below us in the water. Codey and Brittney had fun trying to catch them. Codey caught one! He was so proud! I was too.

While we were there, and not having any luck catching a darn thing, except for what Codey caught, a gentleman by the name of Michael came up to us with a trout. A nice looking one at that. He said that as he caught them, he would bring them to us. It was so nice of him.

Michael, as nice as he was, made dad I feel horrible. He kept catching them and we couldn't catch a darn thing. Michael even gave us some of his bait to try, but it didn't work for us either.

Up in Ellensburbg where we were fishing at first, there are geese there. I thought this was very cute, so I snapped a picture of them.

We did have a few mishaps while fishing. Brittney fell in the water trying to cast, dad caught his jeans with the hook and I hooked my finger a few times. But all in all, we had a lot of fun. The kids couldn't wait to go out again.

What is happening now......

Ok, so I am finally getting caught up on all my blogs I have been wanting to post. I am sure I will find more later to do. But this one is just an update on me and my life.

In January I got fired from my job. It was a good thing. At the time I was convinced it was for stupid reasons (which it really was). Things like forgetting to band a patient, telling a patient to go to the ER because they were private pay and telling a patient that we were a full profit hospital. I had quite a few patient and employee complaints also, but I didn't realize this until after I was let go and I asked for copies of all my records from HR.

I took the time to get temporary disability to try and get some problems fixed that I have been having. I did this instead of unemployment because with that I would not have had insurance and I was not able to work anyway do to a weight lifting/pulling restriction.

While applying for disabilty, I had to go through many tests to see if I qualified. One of which was a psych test. In this test, I found out that I was Bi-Polar, not just manic depressive. That is when I realized why I was getting so may complaints at my old job. Little things would trigger me and I would get very mean and rude to people. Then there were other times that I could be nice as could be. In soul searching, I found that I have had this problem most of my life. I figured that was why I had so much trouble working with my mom and copping attitude with her all of the time. Thank goodness she put up with me so long. I just wish we would have diagnosed the problem way back then instead of recently. Things could have been very different for me.

So, I was approved. YEAH! I started getting doctors appointments left and right. One of which was shoulder surgery. I got it scheduled for April, but then I ran into a problem. I had to take out my 401K to live. I was reprimanded by losing my medical coupon and money for the month of April and would have to re-apply in May. So surgery got postponed. In May I re-applied. I had to show proof of where my money went. That wasn't hard, it all went to bills. So I was accepted back on it again. When I called to schedule surgery, May was all filled up. So I had to wait for June. So here we are. My surgery is scheduled for this Thursday, but will it actually happen? I have to get cardiac clearance first and that appointment is on Wed. With my luck I will have to reschedule again.

This week has been miserable for me. Because of the surgery, I am not allowed to take any ibprofen (which I usually take 8 a day) and no pain killers. Now keep in mind I have numerous problems.

Some of which are;

• fibromaylgia
• arthritis
• gerd
• degenerative disk disease
• type 2 diabetes
• tendinitis
• carpal tunnel both wrists
• tailbone problem
• peripheral artrial disease
• sleep apena
• left shoulder tear
• right shoulder tear
• umbilical hernia
• 2 bulging discs
• bi-polar/manic depression
• anxiety
• chest pain
• UTI
• low potassium

Boy is that fun or what?!!!!

I am thankful that I am not as bad off as my sister though. However, I think I am catching up with her and her problems. She just had her 11th foot surgery!

In between sleeping, eating, playing on the computer and sleeping (oh, I said that already), I have been steadily working on my online degree for my AA in Criminal Justice. I also like to spend my time scrapbooking, stamping and playing zoo world on the computer.

My dogs and my family are my life. My dogs are my peace keepers for me. They sooth me and comfort me and make me laugh. I would devistated if I lost either of them or a family member.

I am not a social butterfly. I have few friends. My mother is my best friend and feels like my only friend most of the time. I don't party, smoke, drink or do drugs so I am not hip to be with. So basically I make myself a hermit. But that is ok, even though I get lonely sometimes for the most part I am not.

I am hoping to be able to get lap band surgery some day. I know my mom is terrified of this, but if it works, I feel I will be much happier with myself as a person. My sister had a gastric bypass surgery years ago and I feel that is what has caused all of her problems. But lap band surgery is supposed to be way safer.

This week I am a little stressed. I have to do all of me weeks homework in two days just in case I do get to have the surgery. That way I can rest the rest of the weekend. I want to find the time to take one day and going fishing with my dad. I know I will not be able to do that for a few weeks after the surgery.

I am also trying to get ready for two yardsales. One regular and one stamping/scrapbooking one. As I posted earlier with the blocks, I am trying to get them done and ready for the sale. I don't think I am going to finish. But I will try.

I think that is about it for now. I will post again later, I think. lol

Have a good night everyone! And thanks for taking the time to check out my blog!

Belated Mothers Day and Happy Fathers Day!

I have been so caught up in life, I forgot to post a Happy Mothers day message to my mom. Sorry mom. She is the greatest though! I can honestly say that she is my best friend and I am very thankful for that. I worry so much about her and her health. A few weeks ago she fell in the garage and I freaked! She finally went to the hospital and was ok. She had a contusion in her knee, a sprained shoulder and ruptured some blood vesssels in her hand. But she is fine. Thank goodness! So, here is the card I made her for her special day.

Today, I went to church for my dad. I say for him because I was in so much pain I really didn't want to go, but I knew he would appreciate it. It was Fathers Day after all. (o= The sermon was very nice. Dad didn't want to do much today and mom couldn't do much because she was in pain also. So it was just a quiet day at home.

Dad is great! Lately, as I have previously posted, we have been taking the time to fish together. We would probably be golfing, but with my shoulder injury I can't partake in that as well.
Here is the card I made for dad. Happy Fathers Day Dad!

Wooden Blocks to Acrylic - OMG!

I decided to change all of my wooden rubber stamps over to CD and DVD cases to cut down on the space storage in my stamp room. I had no idea how much work it was going to be. I am not even done yet! I still have so much to do!

So here are the blocks after I have taken off the rubber from them and put them in the case.

Then, I had to get the glue off of all of the blocks.

Now I had to stack them all and organize them by size, putting a sticker on them to tell me what the size is.

Now I put them all in these boxes by size so they are easy to find when I sell them. Do you need any? lol

These are some of the cases so far that I have done; Well over 500!

And this is what they look like when they are finished!

Now, what I didn't picture here is all the time it took to scan the sets, label the Cd/DVDS, and inventory them in the computer. Let alone printing out the faces and cutting them out. Thank goodness I have a nice neighbor that helps with that part!

I will be so glad when I am ALL DONE!

Silly Balloo

I have seen several pictures on the internet or on funniest home videos of dogs who have bobbed tails and they put sunglasses on them to make it look like a person from behind. I decided to try it with Balloo. She is so stinkin funny!

Fishing with dad

Dad and I have been out fishing a few times now. The first four times or so we didn't catch a darn thing. But then, one day, I caught ONE fish! I felt so sorry for the fish. It was just gasping for air looking at me.

That same night, I was putting away my fishing stuff (what little I have) and low and behold I caught something! My finger! Ouch! I ended up going to the hospital to have it removed as it was a two prong hook and it was embedded pretty well.

On another fishing trip, benji knocked the tackle box into the water below. Luckily there was another fisherman who helped us and he fished out the tackle box. Unfortunetly, a lot of stuff was lost to the lake.

Dad has caught several fish since this incident. He really enjoys fishing and goes out sometimes as much as three times a week. He love to take Benji with him.

Here are just a few pictures of the scenery when we go fishing. It is so peaceful and relaxing.

So much to post! lol - retreat 2010

I am so sorry I haven't posted for so long. I have been so busy with life, I forget. Back in April, Shellie and I went to our bi-annual retreat. We had a great time! I got so much done! The theme was a 50's theme. Shellie and I worked hard on a cardboard pink convertable. We came in second place in the costume contest.

Here are some of the layouts I got done that weekend. The retreat was from Thursday to Sunday. I got about 8 hours sleep the whole weekend.

This was taken at Lincoln city in 2010. I went with mom and dad.

This was taken at the Yakima Valley Museum. All of the art is made with bicycle reflectors. He is the same artist that did the design on the Yakima Sundome.

This is a picture of my grandmother and my dad taken at her 89th birthday. She passed away last August. I made one for my dad and one for myself.

This was part of our whale watching trip in Depo Bay. We did not get to see any whales up close. Actually none at all. The pictures were taken off the internet to show wishful thinking.

Well that is all for this update. more to come